July 31, 2009
A Mick by any other name is still a Mick
I ran into an Irish friend this week who gave me a great recipe. I'll get back to
that, but our conversation got me to thinking about getting arrested.
These two characters used to run around Hollywood early in their
careers trying to get arrested, it was a way to get some ink in the
local paper. In more modern times, we might now find these sorts
trying to get an audience with the President.
Seems like a certain Policeman and a Harvard professor managed to
do all three, get arrested, get some ink in the paper and get an audience
with the President. I don't know that from what I heard about this that
it was really a racial incident. Things got heated, things were said.
Even so, it isn't very productive for our President to go around trying
to solve racial disputes. There's 6.7 Billion people in the world and
there will always be a reason for conflict. Conflict about skin color
is really a minor conflict these days, don't you agree?
Besides, what constitutes a racial slur is relevant. For example,
I can call my Irish friend a 'Mick', and to you it would sound like
racial slur. I am part Irish - I tell everyone I'm half Irish, but it's
the better half - and you have to be Irish to understand that. You
also have to be Irish to understand the term 'Mick'. It's sort of
like the 'N' word. A black man can use the 'N' word with
another black man and no offence is taken. Same with the Irish and
the term 'Mick'. Now if a black man calls an Irishman a 'Mick',
you probably need to find a safe place in the barroom to watch
the ensuing fight, and likewise with the Irishman and the 'N' word.
If either a black man or an Irishman calls a cop a 'pig' that's a
racial slur, or at least a classist slur and there's a difference.
So if I call an Irishman a 'Mick', being Irish gives me an
understanding of what being a 'Mick' really is; its sort of like
calling someone an ***hole, only in a very Irish way.
So anyway, this 'Mick' I ran into the other day
tells me this great recipe.
Did you hear the one about two negros looking for the keys to the barbecue?
January 2009
Gravity
By W. Marshall Moseley
Good old gravity. Sir Isaac Newton gave us the law of gravity in the seventeenth century and humanity has
been trying to overcome it ever since. Gravity has it’s way of bringing you down and there’s just no getting
around it. Trees, mudslides, mountains, certain unmentionable body parts, all just sinking lower
and lower. That’s the reason I want to run Urkel against John McCain in ‘10.
You remember Urkel, that loveable kid from the show “ Family Matters“. You see, he wears those
somewhat outdated-but really nifty suspenders that keep your pants from riding down really low,
so low that people see not only that tacky underwear, but more often, more of someone’s anatomy than they really want to.
There’s precedence for this too. Gregory Peck wore them as “Atticus Finch, in To Kill A Mockingbird”,
and he wore them quite handsomely. In fact, there was a time, years ago, when Barristers wore them in
courtrooms everywhere. But alas, times and fashions have changed.
There’s more reasons than that. Urkel’s a bright guy, you can tell that by those pop-bottle glasses
he wears. He’s likeable, audiences loved him and that’s good enough for me. He’s well spoken, no need to go
around addressing everyone as ‘my friend’. He’s in good shape, has full range of motion,
and I’ll wager he can even do jumping jacks. Another thing, he strikes me as the kind of
guy who likes pork, and we all know a little pork never hurt anyone.
So there you have it, a list of very good reasons to run Urkel against John McCain in ‘10. I think its likely he would get Paris Hilton’s vote.
